Understand Your Communication Style

(Introduction: this speech was part of my Toastmasters pathway project focused on understanding different communication styles. In it, I reflected on my personal communication style and shared insights from my experiences at different occasions)

Good evening, fellow Toastmasters!

Communicating with others, whether verbally or nonverbally, often leads to a range of experiences. You might find it effortless to connect with one person, while interactions with another can feel challenging. For instance, when I recount something to my husband, he often interrupts with, ‘What’s your point?’ In moments like these, how would you perceive your communication partner? Unsympathetic, arrogant, or perhaps just straightforward? Have you ever considered that these differences might simply stem from distinct communication styles?”

As I continue my journey with Toastmasters, my current project focuses on understanding my communication style and learning how to adapt it to different situations. According to the project workbook, there are four main communication styles: Direct, Supportive, Initiative, and Analytical. My style was identified as Supportive. This style is described as patient, cooperative, and sympathetic—though it can sometimes be indecisive. Do you think this description sounds like me?

In this speech, I’ll reflect on my communication style and how it has impacted my work and personal life.

Communication style in work

As an independent bookkeeper, I frequently communicate with clients, often through text messages or emails. The traits of the Supportive style—patient, cooperative, and sympathetic—perfectly describe my approach.

I take time to craft clear, concise messages to avoid confusion. Knowing that clients are often busy, I restate key points to ensure understanding. I try to anticipate their needs and put myself in their shoes, which has helped me build trust and maintain strong relationships with them over the years.

Communication style in social interactions

In social settings, I’m often seen as reserved and introverted. I prefer one-on-one conversations, especially with close friends. In our WeChat group, you might notice that I use a lot of emoticons. I feel that plain text can seem cold or even misleading. Emoticons add warmth and make communication more expressive and enjoyable.

The importance of adaptability

While everyone has a unique communication style, we often adapt based on the situation. A conversation can go smoothly—or end in conflict—depending on how well we adjust our tone and approach. For instance, if two people with strong, control-oriented styles clash in a discussion, the result can be disastrous.

At work or in social settings, I typically use a Supportive style. But at home, like many of us, my style shifts. Home is where we feel free to let our guard down—where a Supportive communicator might become bossy, or an Analytical one might turn playful. But it’s also a place where different styles can clash.

Family dynamics

This is especially true in my interactions with my husband. He has a logical, analytical mind, while I’m more spontaneous, often jumping from one idea to another. When he asks, “What’s your point?” I feel frustrated, but I’ve learned it’s not about being unsympathetic—it’s just his way of processing information.

Of course, we have good moments when we’re on the same wavelength and both adopt a Supportive style. But during disagreements, our different styles can escalate tensions. I’ve realized that compromise and adaptability are essential for maintaining harmony.

I now try to approach my husband and kids with more enthusiasm, energy, and humor. By creating a warm and positive atmosphere, I can encourage better communication and stronger connections.

Conclusion

In this speech, I’ve reflected on my communication style and how it influences my interactions. Understanding your communication style is important because it impacts your relationships, both personal and professional.

So, what’s your communication style? Would you like to share your reflections with us next time?